if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
