You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
love makes seman taste better
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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