I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
