i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize