Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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