drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
did i walk over a car last night?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
