i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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