I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
farters have to be the big spoon...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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