Buhtt sex?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
