i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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