I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
