All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A+ Viking dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
