I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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