what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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