Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Everyone says I win the strip club
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
