In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
