Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
