are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
