i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
