the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Alive.
So much puke
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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