that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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