i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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