What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
