what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
