i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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