never play flip cup with pint glasses
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dignity is for republicans.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
