kristin has been a bad kristin
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
