I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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