do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
