i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
