I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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