Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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