Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
