I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
