can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
