Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
