So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
