If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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