maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
