Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
