Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
