Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
