I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
