i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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