Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
