this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
