He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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