She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
