I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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