everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
