my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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