I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
