Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
