She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
