Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
