So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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