im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
