I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
cat food counts as protein by the way
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
