It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
