What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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