Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
