if i can run in heels then i can drive
that's an acceptable place to lick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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