I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
