You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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