i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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