I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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