He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
