your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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