His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize