last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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