We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
