He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Green mimosas i think yes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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