Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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